It hurt. I understand

I thought we had enough

I thought we loved each other

I know we cared about each other

I felt we can listen to each other

I wondered if we understood that we respect each other

Before, we drank together

We laughed together

We burned trees together

We liked to dress and go out together

We liked to press

Our bodies together

Three different dating acts

Maybe I needed to ask questions

Your consistent, curious, resentful digs

About my background of academics, from the continent

Your weird sexuality questions

My everlasting love

Of our brown skins

Of our resilience

Your internalized antiblackness ended it

A shadow of a ghost

Sunk the spirit beneath my skin

To shame

In a place

In pain

Pain with cognac

A regret?

No

Tears holding on the bottom of my eyelids?

Yes

Wipe these off

Wash

Hot

Rinse

Cold

Rinse

Cold

Dry off

Pat down

So fresh

So clean